For the past ten years, I have been dreaming of living a big life. Back then, I thought that I would be living very differently now. Little did I know, time just crept by without any notice. Three jobs later I am now a stay at home mom trying to figure out the next best thing. Sometimes it could be very discouraging looking back at how life was then and now and feeling like life is a parabola and I am living the path down.
Is there a way up?
Friday, July 29, 2016
Thursday, July 28, 2016
Give Birth and REST
Two and a half months ago, I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl Aria. Giving birth is exhausting, no wonder they call it labor. For all the mothers out there, give yourself a pat on the back, unless someone has been through it, no one really can truly understand what you had been through and what you are going through now.
With my newborn in tow, I was excited yet sad to bring her home. I was excited about her and all the moments moving forward, but I was sad that I didn't have a proper place to take her home to. We were going back to an apartment that I had been wanting to move out of for over five years. It was not a place that gave me excitement when I came home. Instead, it was usually a place that give me moments of joy but usually followed by some anxiety and stress. Despite all that, I was happy to be back and anxious to move forward.
The Chinese tradition requires that new moms refrain from shower, eat lots of nutritious foods and get LOTS OF REST!! In the beginning, I planned to hop out of the hospital bed and resume my regular life. After giving birth, I felt all the pains and aches but being restless made me a little rebel against all the rules my mom tried to enforce for the new mom. Although I did my best to eat well and made sure I stayed away from showering to frequently to prevent getting sick, I failed to really rest. I was excited to start functioning like a family and since I saw my husband work so hard, I wanted to help him too. Little did I know, that rest was one of the most important factors moving forward.
Labor is hard, your body needs time to recover. In order to do so, you need to sleep and rest. The rest can wait. The work will still be there and no matter how much you get done now, there is always going to be more work. While the baby is still resting most of the time, have someone take charge of the housework and comforting the baby so you can rest when the baby does and regain your physical and mental sanity. It will be hard, but trust me, you will thank yourself for that after when the help is no longer available.
Now at two and a half months, I am angry and frustrated that I didn't take that opportunity when it was there. My husband has trouble balancing tasks and taking care of the baby. In some ways, his routines has not changed too much. I find myself, still with little opportunity to go to the bathroom or take a shower. I would either be so busy I would forget or be too tired.
With my newborn in tow, I was excited yet sad to bring her home. I was excited about her and all the moments moving forward, but I was sad that I didn't have a proper place to take her home to. We were going back to an apartment that I had been wanting to move out of for over five years. It was not a place that gave me excitement when I came home. Instead, it was usually a place that give me moments of joy but usually followed by some anxiety and stress. Despite all that, I was happy to be back and anxious to move forward.
The Chinese tradition requires that new moms refrain from shower, eat lots of nutritious foods and get LOTS OF REST!! In the beginning, I planned to hop out of the hospital bed and resume my regular life. After giving birth, I felt all the pains and aches but being restless made me a little rebel against all the rules my mom tried to enforce for the new mom. Although I did my best to eat well and made sure I stayed away from showering to frequently to prevent getting sick, I failed to really rest. I was excited to start functioning like a family and since I saw my husband work so hard, I wanted to help him too. Little did I know, that rest was one of the most important factors moving forward.
Labor is hard, your body needs time to recover. In order to do so, you need to sleep and rest. The rest can wait. The work will still be there and no matter how much you get done now, there is always going to be more work. While the baby is still resting most of the time, have someone take charge of the housework and comforting the baby so you can rest when the baby does and regain your physical and mental sanity. It will be hard, but trust me, you will thank yourself for that after when the help is no longer available.
Now at two and a half months, I am angry and frustrated that I didn't take that opportunity when it was there. My husband has trouble balancing tasks and taking care of the baby. In some ways, his routines has not changed too much. I find myself, still with little opportunity to go to the bathroom or take a shower. I would either be so busy I would forget or be too tired.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
First Time Mommy
Motherhood has thrown me off guard. All I ever knew about motherhood was what I saw around me and on TV. However, it is a whole different world once you are in it. Like someone once told me, it is chaos and happiness all in one. I think I am starting to understand what he meant.
Before Aria was born, I had a vision of what she might look like and how she will be. I imagined that nothing would change too much except the fact that there will be one extra responsibility. I also thought that I would jump out of the hospital right after I gave birth.
I was wrong on all counts. After birth, I was in a lot of pain. I continued to function like I would but my body is not the same. Oftentimes I wished that I had taken my mothers advice and rested more in the beginning. Also, Aria was not a quite little baby. She was a big baby at birth and also quite loud.
We struggled so much in the beginning. It was a challenge trying to figure out what she wanted whenever she fussed and not give in to the idea of colic and let her cry. Truth was, she had needs and we were still learning to understand her physical and verbal cues, we were still getting to know her. The second challenge was breastfeeding. Not only was it exhausting but it was often painful. I never imagined that I would dread almost every moment that she would want to feed. It also didn't help that whenever she fussed, she was returned to me so I can feed her to calm her down.
But here I am, two months in and going. Still here, still happy, but not the same.
Before Aria was born, I had a vision of what she might look like and how she will be. I imagined that nothing would change too much except the fact that there will be one extra responsibility. I also thought that I would jump out of the hospital right after I gave birth.
I was wrong on all counts. After birth, I was in a lot of pain. I continued to function like I would but my body is not the same. Oftentimes I wished that I had taken my mothers advice and rested more in the beginning. Also, Aria was not a quite little baby. She was a big baby at birth and also quite loud.
We struggled so much in the beginning. It was a challenge trying to figure out what she wanted whenever she fussed and not give in to the idea of colic and let her cry. Truth was, she had needs and we were still learning to understand her physical and verbal cues, we were still getting to know her. The second challenge was breastfeeding. Not only was it exhausting but it was often painful. I never imagined that I would dread almost every moment that she would want to feed. It also didn't help that whenever she fussed, she was returned to me so I can feed her to calm her down.
But here I am, two months in and going. Still here, still happy, but not the same.
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