Motherhood has thrown me off guard. All I ever knew about motherhood was what I saw around me and on TV. However, it is a whole different world once you are in it. Like someone once told me, it is chaos and happiness all in one. I think I am starting to understand what he meant.
Before Aria was born, I had a vision of what she might look like and how she will be. I imagined that nothing would change too much except the fact that there will be one extra responsibility. I also thought that I would jump out of the hospital right after I gave birth.
I was wrong on all counts. After birth, I was in a lot of pain. I continued to function like I would but my body is not the same. Oftentimes I wished that I had taken my mothers advice and rested more in the beginning. Also, Aria was not a quite little baby. She was a big baby at birth and also quite loud.
We struggled so much in the beginning. It was a challenge trying to figure out what she wanted whenever she fussed and not give in to the idea of colic and let her cry. Truth was, she had needs and we were still learning to understand her physical and verbal cues, we were still getting to know her. The second challenge was breastfeeding. Not only was it exhausting but it was often painful. I never imagined that I would dread almost every moment that she would want to feed. It also didn't help that whenever she fussed, she was returned to me so I can feed her to calm her down.
But here I am, two months in and going. Still here, still happy, but not the same.
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